The figure of the woman has always been associated with a series of stereotypes that seem to indicate what her duties are. The image of the woman who as such has to start a family, look after the house and be a good wife is still very strong. This cliché automatically generates another, namely that of having to sacrifice personal ambitions in order to dedicate oneself to others in all respects. Fortunately though, clichés also exist to be overcome and women can magically prove that they are exactly what they want.
Guest Post by Elisa Gnecchi of Mamma In The City.
Being a Woman Without Being a Mother
Let’s start by debunking the myth that a woman must necessarily have children to feel fulfilled. Each must find their own balance and feel satisfied as they see fit, without being conditioned by external influences. Having children is a choice and certainly not a moral obligation towards the community.
Machismo and the Role of Women in Society
Unfortunately, we still hear about forced marriages, strongly desired by the families of the spouses, or about women who are mocked or humiliated, just because they choose not to become mothers. Undoubtedly, in the field of women’s emancipation many giant steps have been made, but it must be admitted that in the common imagination certain negative characteristics still remain associated with the female figure.
It’s a bit as if the woman had to follow a predetermined path in order to earn the respect and affection of the people around her. If a man is allowed to think about his own pleasures, it’s almost inconceivable for a woman to have desires that stray from the ideals of the community. Even pleasure and sexual desire are frowned upon, yet these are completely natural and normal thoughts.
The Freedom to Be a Woman
Other women, on the other hand, are looking for something different and feel satisfied for other reasons. Some, for example, love being alone and aren’t frustrated in the least by not having a permanent life partner. Others prefer to change partners frequently and still others choose to have a superficial relationship in order to devote all their energy to their career.
Too often, those who make life choices a little outside the box run the risk of being harshly criticized. The vice of many people is to make meaningless comparisons, which do not admit the possibility of having a different thought from theirs. Personal decisions should only be the result of one’s own convictions, without comparison whatsoever. Many times this external judgment can be really limiting, it can lead to getting lost in wrong paths and adverse to one’s desires.
Photos by ©Tania Medina
Woman First of All
Personal growth should have to do in the first place with the search for the image of oneself, of what one wants to be and what one wants to become.
Between Dreams and Duties
Focusing on your innermost desires is the key to charting the right path to achieve them. To succeed, however, it’s important, along the way, not to be distracted by external judgments. The same ones who have the power to exercise power over the psyche to the point of making every woman doubt her own esteem and ability to achieve these goals.
By virtue of this, women should be educated to have greater awareness of what they are and what makes them feel satisfied, rather than pushing them to follow predefined paths. Every woman should be the protagonist of her own story and feel free to behave as she sees fit.
For fear of making a mistake, it’s easy to forget yourself and take away opportunities for success, just as it is easy to put aside one’s happiness to fulfill duty.
Love Yourself to be Happy
Not only are there women who are marginalized or harshly criticized for choosing not to have children, there are also women who struggle to find space for themselves within family burdens. Surely it’s not at all easy to organize logistically to carve out personal spaces, but the main problem is still linked to the fear of judgment, both of others and of one’s own.
Whatever path you take in life, it’s important not to forget to dedicate time to yourself. Fortunately, there are many examples of women who have fought for their rights and for their happiness and who teach them to believe in their dreams and not to be limited by their social status.
Photo by ©Tania Medina
The Power of Transformation
Can a woman be anything she wants? Absolutely yes. A few ingredients are enough such as courage, determination, self-esteem and a pinch of healthy selfishness.
As they say, the important thing is to believe in it. Self-convince yourself that you can be anything you want without too many sacrifices. This allows you to read things in a different light, even if it will be necessary to adjust a little to make everything fit together. Perhaps the key to understanding lies precisely in the fact of not experiencing self-realization as a renunciation, but as a form of adaptation.
Once you have clear within yourself who you are and who you want to be, then you can find your balance and be able to no longer swing between desires and responsibilities. If you can make this inner transformation, the world you are surrounded by will adjust accordingly.
Photos by ©Tania Medina
We are Perfect Women
A woman remains a woman always and in any case, whether she is no longer alone, whether she is in the family, or whether she is a mother or wife.
It’s important not to forget about yourself and continue to face your life passages without inhibiting your femininity. It is important to remember every day that you are perfect, just as you are and that judgments and feelings of guilt are nothing but a limit.